There is a feeling you get when everyone is your house is sick and you know you're immune system is made of steel but you're also low key worried this will be the time it fails you. It's a mixture of confidence and paranoia. The only visual I can think of is a squirrel in the middle of the road not knowing if it should keep going or go back so they just keep shuffling back and forth hoping not to get hit.
That was me the later part of this week into the weekend. My plan was to not to get hit with the norovirus by relying on my ninja like reflexes to avoid all the puke and poop! My plan was executed flawlessly, thanks to Luke. Luke took one for the team and it was great until he got sick. The sound of a grown man throwing up was horrible and I wasn't sure if he was still alive. I was too scared to look so I did the same thing I do when I hear an unnerving noise in the car - I turned the music up. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
It started Wednesday, Mason wasn't acting himself. When he is all the way up he will do this funny thing where he was seek attention by walking around (generally looking for Luke) and saying, "daddy, daddy, daddy". If Luke is within ear shot but does not respond in the requisite .02 seconds Mason will also handle the response part, "yes pal". This was my cue to take a break. I love Mason but I would be lying if I didn't say everyone needs a break from time to time. Shit, I need a break from my own kid so of course I need a break from my bonus kid too. By the next morning, we learned that the poor boy had gotten sick in the middle of the night. Fun fact about me...I have a very immature gag reflex. But, lucky for me, Luke is superhuman and doesn't. He got that picked up. Only to have to pick up more puke and poop throughout the day.
Charlotte came to our room Thursday night saying she didn't feel well. I wasn't thinking clearly because I was sleeping peacefully before she tapped my shoulder. She laid in bed with us until she got up frantically running to the bathroom. While sitting on the loo, she started puking. OMFG, the trash can was 6 inches away but she let it go all over the floor, bath mats, walls, cabinets, toilet...it would be easier to name the items in the bathroom that weren't hit by puke. You know who had to clean that up? You guessed it, ME!!! Just kidding, I can't do that (refer to prior paragraph about weak gag reflex). I promptly walked back in the bedroom and woke Luke up from a peaceful slumber. He got that all cleaned up at 3:45a and I was up an hour later to head out to work.
If you're keeping score, by Friday morning we had 2 down. By Friday night, Luke said he didn't feel well. I didn't even have time to make my lodging accommodations before Luke got sick. At that point, I feel like the ride or die code is to stick it out. As the last one standing, I needed to set up a base camp and armor myself with a spray bottle of bleach. Norovirus = 3
I wanted to be so supportive but I couldn't let norovirus win and take us all out. So I kept myself busy outside the house on Saturday. By Sunday morning everyone is back to healthy, our house smells like a combination of bleach and Windex, and 39 loads of laundry completed. I will take all the praise and applause for the laundry because laundry is the worst. There are so many steps and it is never done. The cycle continues and you never feel accomplished. I washed, dried, FOLDED, and PUT AWAY all 39 loads. Yes, I will take a bow.
To celebrate Luke's return to life and my laundry marathon, we went grocery shopping. I was today years old when I learned there is a proper way to grocery shop that I have been doing it wrong. If I enter by produce I will start there. If I enter by frozen food (which I typically do because it is closer to where I park) will start there. Turns out, the proper grocery shopping etiquette is to start in produce. Honestly, I'm not going to stop shopping frozen food first but it does have me questioning a lot of choices I've made throughout the years. I guess you'll have to think long and hard if you want to take advice from a person who doesn't even know how to grocery shop.
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